Ho mok talay: a super fancy omellete

Thai food is never too complicated to cook nor is it awfully time-consuming. It is down to the right combinations of fresh ingredients to impress the eater.

The list of what goes into ho mok talay may sound intimidating to the uninitiated, but it is really a coconut-milk based seafood omelette with herbs and spices. And a great one at that!

Normally it is steamed in banana leave boxes, but I couldn't be arsed with such dainties. I just slow-cook it in a huge pig iron wok with just the same result! The quantities of the ingredients really depend on how much of ho mok you want to end up. So there you go:

1. Heat a nice thick-bottomed wok. Oil it with odourless vegetable oil.
   
2. Chop half a bunch of pak bung and line the wok with it.
3. Add seafood and white filleted fish. I use shrimp, squid, mussels, clams, baby octopuses (octopussies?) and whatever gifts of the deep brine I can get lay hold of.
4. Beat eggs and mix them with coconut milk and some corn starch: about 2 eggs and a tablespoonful of starch per tin. Two tins and 4 eggs fill up my huge wok.
5. Add: sliced galangal root (about 2 inches), 6-8 finely shredded kaffir lime leaves, a tablespoonful of ground kurkuma, 2 stalks of lemon grass (chopped) and 1-2 chopped chilies (ho mok is not supposed to come out too spicy!), 3 tablespoonfuls of crushed peanuts.
   
6. Pour the mixture into the wok and make sure it goes al the way through the fish, seafood and pak bung.
   
7. Cover with a lid and cook on low fire until it achieves the texture of omelette.
8. Serve with freshly steamed jasmine rice!

The technology is the same with those banana leave boxes, but then you steam them for 15-20 minutes.

Thai durian does not smell!

The king of fruit, durian, is my favourite ever. Thanks to globalisation now you can buy it in many ethnic groceries even in the West.

It's got a bad rep because of its alleged pungent odour but that is so not true. The real culprit is the cheaper yellow-fleshed variety common in Malaysia in Indonesia. In Thailand it is known as Chani and generally looked down upon. It smells indeed rank and does not taste as good as the superior type, the more expensive Mong Thong, the Golden Pillow.

Its creamy flesh reminds of fruity custard but, really, is just incomparable to anything else. It is delightfully sweet but the Thais can't seem to have enough, they eat it with sweetened sticky rice boiled in coconut milk!

Met mamuang thod: toasted cashew nuts with chilies, red onion and lime juice

Met mamuang himmaphan thod is a beer snack. Lightly toasted cashew nuts are mixed with chopped red onions, chilies and sprinkled with lime juice.

Quick, tasty, savoury, healthy, very Thai, indeed.

Phat phak ruam mit: Thai stir-fried vegetables

Time to take a break from carnivory: phat phak ruam mit are traditional Thai stir-fried vegetables, spicy, delicious and aromatic.

Cooking takes about 5 minutes but you need the right ingredients in the correct succession to achieve the right taste and flavour.

1. Chop finely half a head of garlic and Thai chilies: 1 for bland, 2 for lightly spicy, 3 for moderately spicy (pretty much the limit for Westerners).
2. Wash very well a pound of pak soi and a pound of kang kong. Cut into 4-5-cm pieces.
3. Cut 6-8 button mushrooms (champignons) and a couple of tomatoes. If the mushrooms are small, leave them whole. If you use cherry tomatoes, cut them in halves.
   
4. Put the wok on the highest heat, wait for it to get piping hot, then add 2-3 tablespoonfuls of flavourless vegetable oil (olive oil WON'T do!)
5. When the oil starts smoking, tip the garlic and chillies with 2 tablespoonfuls of dried Thai anchovies. This may end up in a spectacular semi-explosion of pungent smoke and even flames, fear not! Make sure to keep the kitchen door closed though.
   
6. When the garlic is golden brown, tip the mushrooms, tomatoes and veggies starting from the bigger chunks, e.g., the whites of pak choy.
7. Stir vigorously for a minute or so to make sure all the bits get exposed to the heat thoroughly.
   
8. When everything is still crunchy, add fish and oyster sauces to taste, turn down the heat and stir once again.
   

In my vegan days in Thailand, the superbly hunky cook I befriended in my soi's neighbourhood restaurant would add a pack of silky tofu to my veggies about at the same time as fish and oyster sauce. I do it these days too, for the good memories' sake.

One thing you really need to keep in mind: DO NOT OVERCOOK, everything should be just lightly cooked and stay crunchy. 5. to 8. really takes under 3 minutes.

Phat phak ruam mit in Thailand is featured nearly in every dinner to balance animal protein intake with vegetable fibre. Well, it is never worded so but the principle is just that.